


A Fraction of Your Smile (That Would be Enough)

by surabayuh



Series: legacy (a garden you never get to see) [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Pepper Potts Feels, Pepper potts is a good mom, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is a Good Dad Even in Death, Tony Stark is a good husband
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 10:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18848902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surabayuh/pseuds/surabayuh
Summary: “What did I do, mama?” Pepper muttered, brokenly. “Why do the universe keep putting me through this?”  She said, her voice coming out throaty.“Your husband saved the universe, my dear,” said her mother soothingly. “That was a heroic feat no one could ever, ever compare.”Pepper shook her head, her tears dampening her mother’s shoulder. “I don’t want a hero,” She said, “I just want my husband to come home.”Five days after the funeral, it was their anniversary.





	A Fraction of Your Smile (That Would be Enough)

“Mommy, why you stare at the helmet?”

Pepper looked up to see Morgan, in her pajamas, standing beside the sofa with concerned, innocent eyes. Eyes that looked so much like _his_ Pepper had to divert her gaze so not to cry right in front of her daughter.

On Pepper’s hand was the Rescue helmet Pepper had found in the garage, carefully covered with some rags and other tools and easily overlooked. Had it not been for Morgan who pointed where the helmet was, Pepper wouldn’t have found it and wouldn’t have come to the battle on time.

_Well on time or not, doesn’t matter, does it?_ Said a cruel, cold voice in her head, _He’s dead either way._

Pepper cleared her throat and steadied her voice. “I just like it so much, baby,” She said, softly, “It’s pretty.” Was what she told her daughter. _It’s the last thing your father, the love of my life, ever made for me_ was the answer screaming in her head.

“Of course it’s pretty,” Morgan huffed indignantly. “Daddy only makes pretty things!” She said, triumphantly, as Pepper softly pulled her to sit next to her, hugging her close. Pepper silently noted the use of present-tense in Morgan’s reference to Tony, and her heart break a little more.

“That’s right, Sweetie,” said Pepper, snuggling her close, inhaling the soft scent of toddler’s soap and something uniquely _Morgan._ “Daddy _makes_ the prettiest things, doesn’t he?” Her voice was steady but it was thick, as she fiddled with Morgan’s hair.

“Daddy said the helmet’s your ahniversy present,” Morgan added, innocently, her chubby fingers splayed over the headpiece, tracing random patterns. “What’s an ahniversy, mommy?” 

There was a pang on Pepper’s chest, a fresh tear on a wound not healed yet. Her mind drifted off to that sunset in the lake, her arm linked to her father’s as she walked down the soft makeshift aisle, to _Tony, who looked at her with the softest, most loving eyes that made her heart burst—_

_Tony, carrying their daughter as he softly said, “I do,” before kissing the daylights out of her—_

_Tony and Morgan in her arms, as fireworks exploded behind them—_

_Tony, his right side burned and marred, his breath labored and unsteady, his eyes hazy—_

_Friday saying, **“All vitals critical,”** as he softly whispered, “Hey, Pep,” with the same loving eyes he had on that day of her wedding; the eyes that slowly lose focus and light as Pepper tried her best to smile and whisper sweet nothings—_

Pepper swallowed a sob before it managed to get out. “An _anniversary,”_ she said, her voice croaky and dry, her eyes shining, “is the date when mommy and daddy got married, baby.” She said, clearing her throat again lest to compose herself.

“Ooh,” Said Morgan, her eyes sparkling in curiosity, “The day we take the picture where all three of us dresses in white?” She pointed at the framed picture on the coffee table, the largest of the assortments placed. It was of Pepper and Tony, both dressed in white, while Morgan was wedged in between the two of them, dressed in a light-beige dress and laughing happily. All three of them were laughing happily. All three of them were _alive._

And now only two of them were.

Morgan tilted her head in curiosity, “Will daddy go home at the ahniversy, mommy?” She asked, softly. “He said he’ll make you a breakfast on bed.”

The tore in Pepper’s chest grew deeper, more painful, as Pepper watched her daughter’s eyes grew more hopeful in each passing second of Pepper’s silence. Morgan had been asking about _daddy_ a lot; death, in and of itself, was a foreign concept for a toddler, and death in context of her generation had been quite a strange experience, mainly because people around her had _died_ and then _returned—_ Flesh to ashes and then to flesh again.

It wasn’t Morgan’s mistake to expect the exact same thing to happen to her father. Wasn’t Pepper’s mistake to not have a heart to say _no, Sweetie, I’m sorry but that’s not the case._

But watching Morgan’s eyes grew dimmer as Pepper softly told her, “No, baby, daddy’s not coming home for the anniversary,” hurt both of them nonetheless.

Morgan said a soft _oh_ and lowered her gaze, the spark in her gone. Pepper swallowed her tears and tried to keep her voice steady as she continued. “Hey, I know,” She said, voice soothing, “How about juice-pops right now? I think we still have some in the fridge,” Pepper grabbed Morgan’s hand and led her to the pantry.

For the rest of the night, the two Stark ladies spent their time eating grape-flavored popsicle and sharing quiet laughter together. Because Pepper Potts were many broken things, but tonight she was a mother first, and her daughter needed laughter more than anything else.

So Pepper would be strong for her.

It was only after, after the ‘I love you 3000’s and kisses before bedtime, after all the lights in the house had been turned off, after Pepper was safely confined in their— _her—_ own bedroom, did the smile falter.

She gingerly placed the Rescue helmet on the drawer beside her bed, right next to the Iron-Man helmet. Both Helmets stared back at her as Pepper reached out to the Iron-Man helmet, turning the hologram player on.

“ _Hey Miss Potts.”_

She felt her gaze blurred as the virtual display of her late husband materialized on her bed, sickly and thin and smiling wistfully. “ _If you find this recording, don't post it on social media. It's gonna be a real tear-jerker. I don't know if you're ever going to see these. I don't even know if you're... if you're still... Oh God, I hope so.”_

Pepper’s breath hitched, and laughter was mixed with cries as she stifled a sob while her husband went on, inching closer to the digital imprint of the love of her life. “ _And Pep, I ... I know I said no more surprises, but I was really hoping to pull off one last one. But it looks like... well you know what it looks like. Don't feel bad about this. I mean, if you grovel for a couple of weeks, and then move on with enormous guilt. I should probably lie down.”_

Pepper’s hand trembled as she reached out to Tony’s face. His sickly, pale, tinted blue face. She was met with thin air.

_“Please know that... when I drift off, I will think about you.”_ Tony continued, his eyes shining with just as much as love as that day in the lake, just as much as love as that day in the _battle—_ “ _It's always you,”_ said Tony, softly, and then the recording went dead.

He was gone.

The helmet whirred, the eyeholes dimming away, and Pepper buried her head to _his_ pillow; it smelled distinctly of Axe body spray, mechanical oil, orange popsicle, and woods. It smelled like _him._

_Darling, dearest, **dead.**_

* * *

 

_Their_ anniversary landed two days later; on a chirpy, bright Saturday.

Only five days after the funeral.

Dad and a newly-resurrected mom came, surprisingly, with a warm casserole. Morgan welcomed her grandmother’s casserole with gusto, completely oblivious on the somber mood surrounding her mother.

There were some other people, too; Rhodey, who came in bringing flowers; Happy, bearing a bunch of wrapped cheeseburgers from McDonalds; Peter and May, with some spaghetti; and Harley, Hannah, and Nebula, who brought jokes, elaborate tales, and mechanical toys, not necessarily in that order.

“I hope I’m not being too intrusive.” Said Rhodey, when Pepper, flabbergasted, asked about the unprompted occasion. “Told the inner circle that it was your anniversary today.”

Pepper’s eyes welled with unshed tears at Rhodey’s sad smile, and she simply hugged him tighter than she hugged anyone else.

While Morgan attached herself with Harley as she was shyly introduced to the newer guests, Pepper retreated herself to the pantry, preparing the meal absent-mindedly. That was how the older Potts lady found her, sliding a knife to the same section on the casserole over and over and over again.

“Virginia, dear.” Her mother called her with the softest voice possible, and Pepper looked up, startled.

“Mama,” Said Pepper, putting down her knife. “You should be playing with Morgan. Get to know her and all that,” she said, softly, as she approached her mother.

Her mother met her halfway, giving Pepper a tight hug. Pepper only returned it half-heartedly, hands splayed on her mother’s back. Her mother pulled away, slightly, caressing Pepper’s cheek and tucking a strand of loose hair behind Pepper’s ear. “My dear,” She said, softly, “Your father told me.”

Her words made Pepper’s hug grew tighter, and she buried her face into her mother’s shoulder, letting the hug glued her grief-torn heart. “Didn’t even reach three years, mama,” was all she said, voice wobbly and tired. “Didn’t even reach _three years_.”

“Oh, my dear,” Said mom, softly, as her wrinkled hand caressed Pepper’s back.

“What did I _do,_ mama?” Pepper muttered, brokenly. “Why do the universe keep putting me through this?”  She said, her voice coming out throaty.

“Your husband saved the _universe,_ my dear,” said her mother soothingly. “That was a heroic feat no one could ever, _ever_ compare.”

Pepper shook her head, her tears dampening her mother’s shoulder. “I don’t want a hero,” She said, “I just want my husband to come _home.”_

To that, her mother had no answer.

“Mommy,”

Both women were startled, and reluctantly released their embraces. Pepper tried to hide her tearful face and wiped her tear-tracks as her mom crouched down to Morgan, who was looking up at them in innocent curiosity. “Hi baby,” Said mom, softly as she kneeled to reach Morgan’s level.

“Hi,” Said Morgan, voice small as she stared at her grandmother warily. “You’re… gramma Potts.” She spoke, softly; tentatively. “Mommy’s mama.”

“That I am.” Said mom, chuckling as she reached out a hand to caress Morgan’s hair. “We’ve met before.” She told Morgan, trying to remind her.

“You came out of nowhere in Grampa’s living room.” Said Morgan, pointing out tactlessly. “Like a genie or something.” She looked at her grandmother, eyes widening in curiosity. “Grampa said that you were dead.”

“ _Morgan,”_ Pepper’s voice was filled with admonition, looking at her daughter with wary eyes. But mom waved a hand, soothingly, as she focused an eye on the small toddler in front of them, who looked at them with unwaveringly inquisitive eyes.

_Eyes that looked just like his._

Mom sighed, putting a wry smile, “well, baby, I _did,”_ She said, slowly, “but you see, your daddy and his merry-gang of heroes brought me _back.”_ She softly explained to her. “So I’m not dead _now.”_

“Oh.” Said Morgan, blinking, once, twice. Pepper could almost see her brain trying to comprehend all that meant. “Mommy said daddy died, too.” Mom’s smile faltered as Pepper tensed up. “When do you think he’ll be back?”

Her words felt like a knife straight into Pepper’s gut.

“I—” Pepper stammered, the words escaping her.

“Squirt. Hey.”

All three females looked up to find Harley, who at the moment looked like a God-sent savior. Harley nodded at the Potts ladies before frowning at the young Stark. “Don’t just disappear like that, kiddo.” He said, reprimanding her. “We were worried.”

“Was just looking for mommy,” Morgan replied, rather defensively. “She misses the ice-cream party.”

Harley looked up to the two adults, and Pepper noted the shift of emotion in his eyes upon inspecting her face. “Well, mommy’s still speaking with _her_ mommy, so we best leave her be for now.” He said, his voice calmer now, more soothing. “Besides, I’m sure she’s gonna come up to us very soon, won’t she?” Harley gave Pepper a meaningful look.

It took a lot of Pepper’s strength to not sound like she was being strangled. “Of course, Sweetheart.” Said Pepper, voice carefully steady as she looked at Morgan with the biggest smile she could muster. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Harley softly tugged Morgan’s hand, who still looked wary at the whole exchange. “See? Mommy said so.” He said, “Now come on. You haven’t been introduced to my sister, right?”

That caught Morgan’s attention. “ _I’m_ your sister,” she fully turned at him, frowning.

“My _other_ sister, you little Goose.” Harley rolled his eyes playfully, as he pulled Morgan along. “I mean it’s only fair. _You_ get a new brother as well…”

The two children of Tony Stark walked away, and Pepper’s carefully constructed grace dissipated with them. She stifled a sob, covering her mouth with her arm, trying to keep the chokes low.

_When do you think he’ll be back?_

“Oh, my dear,” said mom, pulling her back into her embrace. “Oh, my baby girl, it’s going to be alright.”

_It’s really not,_ Pepper thought, but she didn’t have much energy left other than to sob her guts out into her mother’s shoulder.

* * *

 

Pepper finally reemerged to the front porch some half-an-hour later, red-rimmed, swollen eyelids perfectly hidden under a thin layer of make-up. The rest of the group greeted her with warm but careful words, as Morgan shot up from Peter’s lap screaming, _“Mommy!”_

“Hi baby,” Said Pepper as she took a seat in-between Happy and Rhodey, patting her lap just as Morgan leaped up to sit on her. “How was the ice cream?” She asked, softly, looking at her daughter.

“Peter ate them all,” Said Morgan, pointing at her new Spider-Brother, who yelled an indignant _hey!_ As the others laughed softly. “But Uncle Happy saved you a cheeseburger.” She tilted her head at the aforementioned uncle, who then rummaged the plastic bag and handed Pepper a half-soggy wrap of the famous McDonalds meal.

“Thanks, Hap,” Pepper said as she accepted it. The cheese had long re-hardened, but, eaten surrounded by family and friends, it was still one of the best cheeseburgers she’d ever eaten.

She was halfway talking to May when Friday announced out of nowhere; **“It’s 4.56 PM, Lady Boss.”** Came her smooth, electronic voice.

Pepper raised an eyebrow, confused at the declaration of the uncommon time. “Well, thank you, Friday,” She said, turning to the ceiling, “But why—?”

**“There is an instruction from Boss,”** continued Friday, **“To play a message at this exact time today if he—did not make it.”** Pepper could hear the AI halting her speech, as if reconsidering her choice of words. She also said the words with softer tone, even for her usually flat, no-nonsense voice. **“May I play it?”**

Pepper’s breath hitched, her train of thought stopping.

4.56 PM today was the exact time Tony softly whispered, _“I do,”_ to her all those years ago.

**“Boss?”**

“Yes—Yes Friday.” Said Pepper, her voice throaty as she approved. “Proceed, please.”

The people on her front porch grew quiet, all movement stopped as the soft hum of Friday’s machinery worked its magic. Pepper slung her hands over Morgan’s shoulders and hugged her closely as the telltale blue light of Friday’s projection ignited from one of the corners of the pillars.

_“Hey Mrs. Stark.”_

“Daddy!” Morgan said, overjoyed, and Pepper whimpered, quietly, because there was _Tony._

_Tony,_ wearing his worn black tank with the boob-window that used to accommodate his arc reactor. _Tony,_ with a blindingly wide smile that reached his eyes. _Tony,_ grinning and breathing and _very much alive._

_“God, I hate making videos,”_ Said Tony, looking down. “ _Friday, how many logs have we—? Actually, don’t answer that.”_ He chuckled to himself, shaking his head. _“Anyway, Pep, if you’re seeing this, well, then—we know what it means.”_ His smile faltered, before looking up with the softest eyes. “ _But if you think anything’s gonna stop me from being present in our anniversary, then you’re dead wrong.”_ He winked, and the morbid humor wasn’t lost on Pepper, who laughed in part surprise.

Tony’s holographic imprint walked around, and unconsciously people moved aside, left and right, giving him way to get through. “ _I hope you’re doing well, Honey.”_ He said, softly. “ _I hope Morgan’s doing well, too. Above all I just wish that you’re all—all happy.”_ Friday recorded the exact moment his breath hitched.

Pepper took a glance around, at the makeshift blood-and-found family the Starks had collected along the way, all captivated at the way her husband moved. “ _I’m sorry that we have to celebrate it this way.”_ He apologized, shrugging as he stared squarely at Pepper’s eyes. “ _But know that I **do** prepare an anniversary present for you,” _and then his eyes lowered down to Pepper’s lap, to Morgan, who was looking at her father with the brightest joy bursting from her eyes. “ _I think our little Maguna knows what it is.”_

“The helmet!” She exclaimed, turning at her mom with excitement.

“ _The Rescue suit,”_ He continued, his tone affirming as if he _heard_ his young daughter speaking. “ _Painted the exact same color like that first dress you bought on my behalf.”_ He winked, “ _the dress that made me realize that you’re the one for me.”_

Pepper laughed, wetly, thinking about the Rescue suit she’d found on the garage and donned over _their_ final battle. _Indigo blue,_ she thought, _just had a whole new meaning._

“ _And because you’re seeing this video… well.”_ Tony continued, giving her a playful smirk, “ _That means you’re unlocking another present.”_ He paused, thinking to himself, “ _Well, several **presents,** actually.” _

Pepper blinked. There were _others?_

“ _Friday, if worst come to mind,”_ said Tony, looking up, _“Unlock the ‘_ Daddy’s Home _’ Protocol.”_

**_“Yes Boss.”_** Affirmed recording-Friday.

Pepper narrowed her eyes, not recognizing the protocol’s name. She wanted to ask Friday, but Tony was walking again, and she wouldn’t want to waste every single precious moment she had left with him, even if it was just a digital imprint of her late husband.

“ _I love you, Honey,”_ Said Tony, softly, “ _I love you both so, so much.”_ His tone was final and Pepper had a feeling that he was _leaving,_ that the recording was coming to an _end._ “ _And I hope that I can be with you, for as much as I can.”_

She half-buried her face to Morgan’s face, her breath held back. _Please no please don’t say goodbye please God just one more word, one more **second** of him please—_

“ _It’s always you, Mrs. Stark,”_ He sounded so _smug,_ so _loving_ when he said those words, _“Happy anniversary.”_

And then he was gone; a blink of an eye and he _dissipated,_ just like _that._

Pepper could hear the exact moment people around her started breathing again, but for once, she didn’t have it in her to maintain courtesy. “Friday,” She said, noting that her voice was shaking. “What’s… what is the ‘Daddy’s Home’ Protocol?”

**“It is a series of videos Boss created during the duration of his mission for you, Boss.”** Said Friday, **“About 3,000 minutes, in total.”**

Pepper gasped, softly.

“See, mommy?” asked Morgan, looking up with gleeful eyes and a triumphant smile, “Daddy _does_ come _back!”_

Her fingers were trembling as she tucked Morgan’s loose strand of hair behind her ears. She was speechless; words were lost on her as she tried to comprehend what Tony had left them.

3,000 minutes.

Pepper hid her tears on Morgan’s crown, trying to muffle her cries.

_I hope that I can be with you, for as much as I can._

And then there was a hand, gently caressing her back. Pepper looked up to see mom, crouching, eyes filled with unshed tears. “That genius, _miraculous_ husband of yours,” she shook her head, and some tears rolled down her cheeks as well, “looks like he found a way to be _home,_ after all.”

* * *

 

On Monday, Morgan came inside the house clutching a dripping wet cylindrical object. 

"It washed up at the shores," She said, when Pepper carefully asked where she got it from. 

The words  _Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart_ stared back at her, worn and slightly mixed with lake goo and mud, but  _present._ Pepper looked at it with a fond, watery smile.

He really did found his way _home._  

**Author's Note:**

> I kept on thinking about how the Rescue suit was an anniversary present... and how Pepper would go through the next years of her anniversary with Tony alone. Don't try, it's a sad image--hence why I made this thing to lighten the somber mood. 
> 
> Anyway, sob with me at fragilefangirl.tumblr.com


End file.
